“I want you to build for me the greatest church in Europe!”
The architect nervously glanced up from his coffee cup to
find the eccentric priest intently staring at him. “Father, I can only dream of
living in the shadows of the men who created the Papal Basilica of Saint Peter,
Saint Basil’s Cathedral, Notre Dame,-”
The young man was cut off. “You don’t understand, boy. I
have had dreams. Dreams of a church so close to God, I could see his Kingdom
when the sky was clear.”
“You know the city has limits on the heights on new buildings.”
“What man allows another to limit his closeness to his god?”
There was no reply. The priest looked beyond the architect, beyond the city limits, lost in his thoughts. The side of his mouth twitched into a small smile and his blue eyes clouded over for a moment.
By the time the priest shook himself from his dream-like state, his young friend was digging through his wallet to grab change for his drink. He gave the priest an apologetic smile. “Drink’s on me, Father.”
The old man nodded. “Thank you, son. I am sorry you can’t help me.”
The younger man shrugged and stood. He excused himself from the table and told the priest he would see him on Sunday.
“Hmm.” The elder man leaned back in his chair, eyes cast up the mountains that shaded his small, secular town. I know what I must do, and I know just how my work should look.
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The overall theme of this blog is creative and thoughtful. The composition Four Minutes Thirty-Three Seconds by John Cage says so much, without saying anything at all. This theme was tied into the narrative in a way that, indeed, challenges the question “What is a Text?” However, a more direct association between the narrative and the theme of the blog may be a good idea. Consider alluding to the blog’s theme during the time when the priest’s clue eyes clouded over in a dream-like state.
ReplyDeleteThe interplay of internal thought and one-on-one conversation between the architect and the priest reveals a much deeper story than just the words on the page.
The photo placement, following the elder man’s expressed thought, is well suited for the narrative. It is not directly explained, but it leaves the reader with the feeling that the story is not over, that it continues indefinitely and that the priest’s “dream church” is a reality he can fathom.
As far as aesthetics go, the maroon color chosen for the background of the blog title and sidebar boxes, as well as the post’s text, clashes with the blues and greens of the background image. An off-white translucent (rather than transparent) text box with black writing or an off-black translucent text box with white writing may be better suited for this blog. The chosen font may also need reconsidering.
Also, while this was, in fact, “Assignment 1”, a well thought-out title could provide a significant increase of interest in the narrative itself. Consider brainstorming possible titles to add character and creativity.
Overall, a well-done blog and narrative.